My Doctrine

I believe in Hell on Earth though I don't believe Heaven lies above the clouds or 

Hell lies beneath the surface. I believe life can be the greatest gift or the greatest curse. 

I believe coloring outside of the lines is good for the soul. 

I believe I am a smooth pebble in a world of rugged stones, 

which doesn't make me better than the rest, 

I have simply been tumbled around a few too many times. 

I believe "black" and "white" are labels for crayons and colored pencils, not people.
I believe my "Prince Charming" is really a princess.

I believe love is blind and it has the power to rescue the weary, 

though it can't save the forgotten. Life is like the blind leading the blind, 

I believe water can be thicker than blood, I believe in wishing wells, 

calling is always better than texting, and checking your watch in class makes ninety minutes turn into an eternity, and if I hold my breath

and wait for the day society accepts me,

my lungs will never be filled with air again. This is not a result of reason but ignorance.

I believe in all-nighters: 

coffee, alarm clocks, Cheetos - sip sip sip, tick tick tick, crunch crunch crunch. 

I believe in the slippery slope called life. I believe time is priceless,

except when the time clock tick-tocks. I believe in the complexity of crunching numbers. 

I believe there is a difference between right and wrong, I'm right and you're wrong. 

I believe in education, and if you open every door to new opportunities, 

you are on your way to greatness. Do you believe in second chances? 

I never believed in second chances until I was given one, 

as I popped each one as if they were candy, before I knew it,

the once full bottle was empty, 

a sense of peace and serenity washed over me. Soon, it would all be over.

All the anger and all the pain and all the rejection and all the fear melted away.
And the day I cheated death was the day I really started living. 

I now believe there is a reason I was put on this Earth. I believe one day I will find it.

I believe rules and guidelines are the only way to live.
I believe average people are satisfactory,
extraordinary people are exceptional, and if we all stopped chasing short cuts, 

we would have reached our destination already. I believe in sweat and tears not luck but

I do believe in Lucky Charms, they're magically delicious.

I believe an apology can't fix it all; 

I believe in rebels without a cause; I believe in Care and Be Fair, 

friends are essential and family is optional, everyone belongs to someone, 

and the best cookies are made from scratch and baked fresh from your own oven. 

I believe Tupac is still alive, Jesus is a fictional character from a book of fables called the Bible, Auntie Anne's pretzels are delightfully sinful,

Revenge Day should be a National holiday 

and the life beyond high school I have dreamt about awaits my arrival.

All my dreams and plans swell up and fill up every inch of my heart with joy. 

I believe I may never live up to my own expectations, I may never be satisfied, 

I may never be truly happy, I will always wonder if I am good enough and 

if I never get to experience another day of life, I want to believe, 

I need to believe I have left a lasting foot print in the sand 

and I am departing without a single what if or shoulda-woulda-coulda. 

www.minsmash.com

Five Years to Build and 5 Seconds to Crumble

Tears tricked down my face. 

My eyes become waterfalls. 

A seemingly endless supply of defeat stream down my cheeks.
This pain was like no other, no Band-Aid, no Tylenol,
there was not a single remedy in the world for a broken heart.  

Feeling every emotion under the sun, 

I couldn't decide if I was just mad or just sad or just anything really. 

FIVE YEARS. 

Five years worth of break ups and make ups, 

nights spent out and nights spent in. 

We spent all that time building this friendship just for it to all end over your pride and your ego and your stubbornness. 

Every memory we ever made together rushed through my mind at once.

The thought of the end took my breath away. 

As I sat there struggling for air I couldn't believe my best friend would treat me this way, 

talk to me this way, and look at me this way. 

Through my sobs I hung on to every word you fired my way. 

The words "You. Are. Ri-dic-u-lous", bruised like rage fueled blows to the gut. 

You stressed each syllable to ensure I felt every bit of pain. 

Every word was stretched out slow but steady,

 making sure I felt the sword being trusted in my back. 

After reloading your gun with your vexed bullets, 

you finally ran out of ammunition. 

As I lay there nursing my wounds, 

I hear your bullets being fired once more "You Are So Sel-fish! 

You Are Dis-re-spect-ful beyond belief", 

like a broken record it plays in my head on repeat.

As if you hadn't done enough, 

you continue to rub salt into my wounds. 

You don't look at me, but through me. 

You don't speak to me but about me. 

Being in a room with you and not next to you becomes harder than not seeing you at all. 

From non stop chatter to painful silence. 

The silence. 

Oh how it kills me slowly. 

Days turn into weeks. 

Weeks turn into months. 

Months turn into years. 

Years turn into what feels like forever. 

But forever ends with a faint "You Were Right", 

so faint I almost don't hear you. 

As I turn around at my desk, 

I turn and see my best friend turn enemy turn stranger sitting in the desk behind mine. 

Those three words instantly sparked my healing, all the bruises, 

wounds and the scars her knife left, shriveled up and melted away. 

The friendship could never be salvaged from the wreckage. 

But now I had the strength to raise from under the rumble. 

www.outlawmama.com